so-and-so

This week I've found myself playing what I will call the "wishing game". Normally I'm not one to really compare myself to other people, or really care about that sort of thing. I don't know if its all these hormones, or the insecurities that come with becoming a mom but HOLY do I ever feel like I have a million weaknesses. I have never felt so exposed. I am less patient and more grouchy... among many other things I will not list - just to preserve a little self esteem ha! The last couple weeks I've been needing some kind of boost, or change, or pick-me-up whatever you want to call it. I know something like that usually needs to happen around the time I start playing the wishing game. I wish this baby weight would melt away like so-and-so , I wish I was more fun like so-and-so, I wish I had cute hair like so-and-so, I wish I was as easy going as so-and-so, I wish I was as talented as so-and-so. Do you see where I'm going with this? Maybe I need to find some less cute/fun/talented/smart/beautiful friends!!!! No, thats not it. It's just reality check time. Time to take a good hard look in the mirror and be grateful for who you are. Time to make a pros and pros list about yourself, because chances are someone's playing the wishing game about you!

Confessions of an Introvert Mom

Some of you may recall a previous post I wrote about discovering that I am an introvert. If you don't know what an introvert is, you can read my post here. Motherhood has been an adjustment for me. To be honest I didn't think it would be as big of an adjustment as it has been. I thought I would just automatically love everything about being a mom, I was born for this kinda stuff. You guys. I have been humbled. I will admit I am very selfish with my time... maybe too selfish. I know my limits when it comes to social activities, church commitments, service... But I could probably bend my rules a little more to accommodate other people (my husband in particular... And now my baby). I NEED time to regenerate, to recharge the old batteries. Some people may think that's silly, or weird or stupid, but its how I work. The first couple months when you are doing late night feeding and feeding all day, every day, it's hard to catch a moment to yourself. Any spare moment I had I was catching up on sleep. (Which by the way does not count as recharging). I missed cooking and baking, my crafts, cleaning, scrapbooking, doing laundry, writing blog posts, taking a bath. I missed those little me-time activities I took for granted before.

A couple weeks after I had Rory I was having a hard time. I was prompted to pick up my phone and read a conference talk before bed, which I'll admit, I hadn't done in a long time. I read a talk entitled "Daughters of God" by M. Russell Ballard from April 2008 General Conference. Some of his words really spoke to me,

"...sisters, find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children."

What really struck me were his words "pick one or two things"... just ONE or TWO?! How am I to decide.... I just love so many things. But the spirit whispered that I would have to cut back. I would have to sacrifice, and that yes, those hobbies bring me much joy and happiness, but not the kind I will find devoting myself to motherhood. There is a balance between the two.

I do love being a mom. I don't always love that it's a 24.7 job but I'm sure I will grow to love that too. The more time and sacrifice I devote, the more comfortable I feel with all these changes.  Now that Rory is sleeping through the night (for the most part) I make sure to take a bath, to write a blog post or to hang a picture before bed, one little thing I like to do :) I also try and take a little moment to think about all these changes, to ponder how I'm feeling and sort out all these hormones emotions. This has made all the difference. I might need to adjust how much "me-time" I am used to... but in the meantime I am enjoying the journey :)

Nursing

I heard a lot of horror stories about nursing before I had Rory. To make a long nursing history short - it took Rory and I a few weeks to get things under control. He was a great latcher and a great eater but sometimes it hurt when he would first latch and my nipples were bruised. After a trip to the lactation nurse at the health clinic she tweaked a small thing I was doing and shazam! Never hurt again after that. (I know it sucks leaving the house those first couple weeks, but this appointment is a must) She also showed me how to do hands-free nursing with a nursing pillow and WOW that changed my life. Buying a nursing pillow was one of the best things I ever did. I literally take my nursing pillow with me EVERYWHERE. I get teased about it, but my nursing pillow and I are best friends, we are inseparable and thats that.  

I did not enjoy nursing those first few weeks. I felt like it took up my entire day, I was bored, tired, and it drug on and on. They are so slow when they are newborns! Night time feeds were the worst. I wanted to get back to sleep so bad and it made me impatient. I even texted one of my friends who exclusively pumped and bottle-fed her baby and asked her about it, I was desperate. Luckily she told me DONT DO IT, and explained to me how much work it is. She encouraged me to keep doing the breastfeeding and that it would get better. I started watching TV during nursing sessions and that really helped. I know "they" say bond with your baby, its time for you and him to grow close, dont do other activities... but you guys, this was my sanity we were talking about. We watched probably 6 seasons of Friends on netflix that first month. It was relaxing and made the time go by fast. I would even watch in the middle of the night.

Now I love nursing sessions. I think the love started because it was one of the few times in the day Rory wasn't crying haha. I got to put my feet up, turn on some TV, check my phone, eat a snack, close my eyes for a few minutes... it was my recharging time. I also enjoy that bonding time and sometimes I turn everything off and just enjoy a quiet moment with him. And what is it about nursing babies thats just SO cute?! Now Rory is a more productive eater and its only about 15 minutes, so I have mixed feelings about that haha. So to all you future mamas out there hang in there!! It's worth it in the end, as is everything with a new baby.... rough start, but worth it :)

Coping with Colic

Colic... Do we even really know what that means?? It's kind of a blanket term. It's the rule of 3's. Your baby has episodes of crying for more than 3 hours a day, 3 days a week, for 3 weeks. (And your baby is healthy otherwise)

Rory is a very gassy baby. He has been since around 3ish weeks. Have you ever had gas pain?? It's uncomfortable and sometimes painful. Imagine a tiny new baby in his new body dealing with gas pain. It involves a lot of sad cries and is sad to listen to. Between Rory's cries and mine we have had a few rough days to say the least.

We have tried everything. Trust me. Probiotics, dairy-free diet, bicycle kicks, elevation after eating, burping between feeds, kolik water, ovol, gripe water, pressure on the stomach, warm baths, tummy massage, essential oils... The list goes on. I've just come to the conclusion this is my life, correction, this is OUR life. Hopefully soon his GI tract will mature and my happy baby will be here to stay...

If you listen to the rule of 3's it doesn't require your baby to be crying 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Rory is a great sleeper at night, he usually sleeps around 8 hours straight. (Which I am sooo grateful for) You've probably seen him happy, smiley and content, and I'm sure some have thought "she is out to lunch" when I mention Rory is fussy. However, those hours of the week we rock, bounce, pat the bum, pump the legs, and basically stand on our heads, are enough to make me tired, grouchy and sad. But there's no one to blame, or be frustrated at, he's just a poor baby with a painful GI tract. It's not his fault, it's not mine. So we trudge on. We relish the good days where we get through with only an episode or two of being fussy. We cherish the smiles and the cooing, squacking and talking when things are good.

Here are a few tips I have found have helped me with a colicky baby. Keep in mind that I have only ONE child and some of these are probably harder for moms with multiple children. Most of these are just a reminder to myself how to cope.

Do something nice for someone else It sounds silly but it really does take your mind off your own problems. Time is limited with having a new baby but just a small act of kindness will help you stop feeling sorry for yourself. Text a friend, drop off a treat, compliment your husband... Small or great I promise it will help!

Remember it's OK to be frustrated I have terrible mom guilt. I feel frustrated with Rory and then feel bad for feeling frustrated. It's not his fault, he's just a baby. Then I feel bad because he's in pain and I should be sweet and caring. Well its hard to be sweet and caring all the time... This leads me to my next 2 tips...

Ask for help I am the worst for this. It's hard for me to even ask Nick to help. I feel guilty, he is so busy with school it makes me feel bad for asking him. Here's a tip. Don't feel bad. Nick has been happy to give me a break, even if just for an hour so I can take a bath or run to the grocery store by myself. Tip number two - often times people don't know you need help unless you ASK. It's amazing how often we forget that people can't read our minds!

Take a break Similar to ask for help, however this specifically entails you taking a break from baby. If Rory has had a few bad days in a row I start becoming a ticking time bomb with tears ready to explode at any moment. The problem is I get all worried leaving him with someone else. No one knows what works best like I do... But you NEED the rejuvenation. Even if he cries the whole time they will be fine! You do it all day! Someone else can do it for an hour.

Do something small to feel productive Part of my stress is that I get nothing done. He has a hard time napping because he wakes up every few minutes with gas pain. There are days I have held him his whole nap because he is sooo tired but just can't catch a wink! Do something small to feel productive. Wipe the counters, tidy the bathroom, brush your teeth, take out the garbage. You'd be surprised what a few small tasks can do to make you feel better!

Get out of the house

I know it's scary, especially if it's a bad colicky day, but both of you need to get out of the house and take your mind off things. One time Rory cried so much I finally put him in his carseat and went for a walk. He sucked on his soother the whole time and just stared at me. I think he was happy to get his mind off things too.

Meet Rory. Video

Just a little peak into our journey meeting sweet Rory

Confessions of a FTM (first time mom)

You guys. I have been wanting to write like 20 different blog posts since I've had Rory. So many things have been on my mind. In the wee hours of the morning when Rory and I are up, I practically write the whole post out in my head. So this post will be all of them combined, because frankly I only feel like using up 1 nap time to do this. Here it goes....

Confessions

-I was a bad friend to new moms before I had Rory. I am apologizing right here, right now to all my friends who had baby(ies) before me. I should have brought you a meal, I should have offered to let you take a nap, or clean your bathroom, or do your dishes. I wish I hadn't stayed so dang long thinking it was a pleasure for you to have me. I had no idea. Ignorance is bliss, that's all I know. Bless every single soul that brought us a meal those first few weeks. I know Nick appreciated them too. I barely had time to myself to go to the bathroom let alone be in the kitchen preparing a meal. Those meals kept us going.

 

 

-Bad mom syndrome. I'm sure I'm not the only one who suffers from this. Anything that goes wrong is my fault. Rory is too skinny, my milk supply is low, he is sensitive to dairy... all my fault. Nick is always rubbing my back telling me how great of a mom I am. Rory is lucky to have me. Things will get better, things will sort themselves out. I know this deep down, but the second something goes wrong that bad mom syndrome kicks into full swing. Bless Nick's heart for genuinely asking me how I am doing every day. I am fine all day until he asks me those words. So I just cry and tell him it's been hard. Even if it was pretty great! It's still hard. And he still asks. Even though he knows there will be tears to pay.

-Other FTMs. Thank goodness for friends with new babies. There's something about talking to another FTM who is/was going through what you are. They sympathize. They listen. They don't tell you what you should be doing or pretend to know your baby better than you do. They share their trial and errors, they share their weaknesses, they are vulnerable with you. They're not preachy or trying to be too helpful. They have been one of my biggest helps this first month.

These are what I like to call The 3 Stages of a FTM. At least... these were my stages.

1. Honeymoon stage. (Week 1) First time having a baby. You meet your perfect little piece of heaven and you fall madly in love. Even though your life is turned upside down and things are changed forever you don't even notice. You are completely and utterly in love. Nothing matters but them. Everything that happens is wonderful, every diaper change, every middle of the night cry, every little body ache or pain, it's all absolutely perfect. Life simply could not be better.

2. Survival mode. (Week 2-3) The honeymoon stage is over people. The love remains but reality has hit. The sleepless nights are starting to take a toll, nap when he naps?? I don't think so. Rory can't lift his head up but surely he will roll over and die or smother himself with something while I am peacefully sleeping. I can hear every single breath in the bassinet while I'm trying to fall asleep. I keep checking on him. Still alive. So finally I started wearing an ear plug. Just 1. Enough to drown out the breathing but I can still hear him fussing. Mom isn't at my side 24.7 anymore. We are a little more on our own. Those meals are starting to slow down, we are running out of groceries. I guess we will live off of yogurt tubes and ichiban for today. Laundry? forget about it. Start rotating through those pajama pants again. Showers? Wasn't great at those beforehand but man I would kill for one every day. That gross milk smell is doing no one a favor.

 

3. This is my new life (week 4+) We are starting to venture out of the house a little more. Doctor appointments, the occasional trip to Grandma and Grandpas. A quick diaper run to shoppers. He's not quite so much of a china doll, you sleep more soundly at night. Baby is taking more consistent naps, there's time to make a sandwich or get dinner started. You recognize those cries better. He's hungry. He's sleepy, He's gassy. You start to speak their language. He doesn't cry every diaper change or every time you have to change their clothes. He is getting used to this world.

Don't get me wrong this is the best thing that has ever happened to us. There are nights I just sit and cry a few tears because I feel so lucky to be Rory's mom. We love him more than we could have imagined. I wouldn't trade motherhood for anything, I love being tied down to this little man. Sometimes isn't it good to just look back on things and laugh a little bit? I'm sure Heavenly Father got more than a few good chuckles watching me this last month trying to play mom. We love our little slice of heaven and can't wait for more crazy adventures ahead!

Happy due date Rory

Today is Rory's due date! It's been a crazy week getting to know our little man. It all started last Saturday, I was 39 weeks....

That week I started to get really nervous about the baby coming. Nick kept asking me what was going on, but I just couldn't put my finger on where all my nerves and emotions were coming from. Nick was SURE he was going to come early. I had started having some prelabor signs that my body was getting ready for the baby to come - but I kept telling Nick that didn't mean he was coming early. Plus he was not allowed to come early. My mom was in Utah for 2 weeks and didn't get home till my due date. I was 110% sure that he would be late because my original due date was July 15 and was changed to July 11. I thought he would come closer to the 15th. 

July 4th weekend our friends Sharee and Nate came down from Calgary to hang out with us. Sharee got my butt in gear and helped me on Friday get things ready for the baby. She got me to pack my diaper bag, my hospital bag, and helped me clean up my nursery. We even went to Walmart and got some new pajama pants for the hospital and some newborn diapers. On Saturday the 4 of us went to the new pixar movie Inside Out and then were going to have a BBQ at my parents house with Steve and Krystle since my parents were out of town (might as well use their big house right??). Around 5pm I got in the car and drove over to my parents, Nick was at home and was going to come over later. I got out of the car, and when I stood up I felt a big rush of fluid, like I'd peed my pants. I thought "what the... did I just pee my pants?" Then it dawned on me... my water just broke. Absolute shock. Then the terror set in. I just started to bawl. Do I go inside and tell Sharee and Nate?? I decided to just drive back home and tell Nick. So I got in the car and started calling Nick. No answer. No answer. No answer. It's a quick 5 minute drive so I walked in the house, found Nick and tried to tell him my water broke through a flood of tears. It was an EPIC meltdown. The baby was not allowed to come today. I still had a week to go. Nick held me while I cried for a good 10 minutes then helped me get changed out of my wet clothes (after dry heaving from the smell apparently) and tried to get me to calm down. I called my mom in Utah and told her my water broke and we were going to go to the hospital. Her plan was to head home if I went into labor early (which I had assured her would never happen). Sharee came over and helped me get the rest of my stuff together and get the car seat installed in the car. Thank goodness we packed everything the night before! We had to head to the hospital right away because I was strep B positive and needed to go on antibiotics. 

As soon as we got in the car and I had calmed down, Nick's smile was a mile wide. He couldn't contain his excitement. To this day that smile has not left his face. He was SOOOO excited the baby was finally coming. We got to the hospital and they confirmed my water broke and started me on antibiotics in one of the rooms. It was around 7pm so they decided to just see if I would go into labor on my own in the night and let me and Nick sleep over. We tried to go for a walk to try and get things moving but it was raining outside so we just kind of meandered around the hospital for a while. Finally we decided to go to sleep. Nick could hardly sleep he said it was like waiting for Christmas. They hooked me up to monitors in the night to see if I was having any contractions and to keep an eye on the baby. I was having tiny little contractions all night but nothing more than menstral cramps and they never got any stronger. 

In the morning the on call doctor Dr. Adolf came and we decided to start Oxytocin to try and get labor going. I was on it all morning and they slowly increased the dose to the maximum amount. We waited and waited but nothing was progressing. Contractions didn't ever get stronger than some cramping. Finally around 1:30pm Dr Adolf came in again and gave us a couple options. Since my water broke almost 24 hours ago already these were the options... Option 1: Do a C-Section and meet baby right now, tired of waiting around or Option 2: Keep trying to get labor started. They insert some medication into my cervix to soften it for around 12 hours, then start me on the Oxytocin again after that. No guarantees it will work, end up doing C-Section anyways. Option 2 would take another day to day and a half. We asked the doctor for a little time to discuss. Nick and I prayed about it and we called my mom to discuss it with her too. She had just flown in from Utah and was driving down from Calgary. She was 15 minutes away. We asked the doctor if we could wait to decide till my mom got here, but she told us they needed to know right now so they could prep the OR room. I knew Nick secretly wanted to do the C Section. He was so anxious to meet our little boy, he didn't want to wait another day and a half. But he talked to me objectively and I told him I felt strongly my body was not going to go into labor on its own and I would have to do it anyways. We told the doctor we would do the C Section. I immediately started crying. Dr Adolf smiled and said we would be meeting baby within the hour. I had been pretty good not to cry so far. But it had been a long 24 hours and I was scared to get the C Section even though I knew it was what we should do. As soon as we said yes, an army of nurses came in and started prepping me for surgery. Everything was happening so fast. Nick held my hand while they prepped me for surgery and he got his scrubs on. My mom got there 10 minutes before they wheeled me into surgery. It made me feel better having her there. 

They wheeled me into the OR and I cried the entire time we were in there. It was one of the most terrifying things I've ever done. Nick held my hand while I got the epidural and it was way more painful than I thought it was going to be! As they laid me down and put the sheets up to get started Nick sat by my head and held my hand. It was scary not being able to feel half of my body but knowing there was a team of people behind the sheet cutting me open. I tried not to think about it and Nick whispered it was going to be ok in my ear. When they took the baby out and we heard him cry for the first time Nick and I both caught our breaths and leaned our heads next to each other and I started to sob uncontrollably. I could feel little tears from Nicks eyes fall on my cheeks. It was one of the most special moments of my life. I will never forget that feeling. We watched them carry him over to clean him off and I remember all the nurses and doctors fussing over how beautiful he was (I'm sure they do that for everyone, but I loved it just the same). We watched them clean him off and I said to Nick "he has hair..." I was sure he was going to be bald. They wrapped him up and passed him to Nick and I. I held him for the first time and cried and cried and cried I couldn't believe he was here. The nurse asked for Nicks phone and she snapped our first family photo. (Yes I look like a mess). We held him for 5 or so minutes and I stared at his little face. Love at first sight. 

They let Nick wheel baby out to the waiting room where my mom and Nick's mom were waiting. We were only gone for like 40 minutes both of them were shocked we were already done! They all went into the NICU watched him get washed off and weighed and measured. Nick got to hold him the whole time I was in recovery. (like 2 hours!!) I got wheeled into recovery where some nurses cleaned me off and waited for the epidural to wear off a bit. (or as they put it waiting for me to "thaw") I was so groggy from the medication and from being so emotional that I dozed in and out of sleep. I was super jealous Nick was holding baby and I was stuck in here waiting to be with them. They finally wheeled me into my room on the ward and Nick and the grandmas came in with the baby and I finally really got to hold him. I remember a lot of talking and excitement from everyone but I was still so groggy and tired that most of this part is a blur. 

It was time to decide his name. We hadn't been alone with baby since we met him, so once everyone went home around 8pm we went over our list of names. We had one name that was both our favorite and we tried to call him that for an hour or so but it just wasn't sticking. Nick asked me which name I thought he looked like. I wanted Rory so bad, but I knew it was the bottom of Nicks top 5 list. I asked him the question back and he said "I don't know why but I like Rory. When I saw him I thought he looked like a little Rory." YESSSS my heart burst! We called him Rory for the rest of the night and wrote Rory Johnson on the little white board in our room. It just looked right. As far as middle names go, we had a list of family history name options. Nick's mom had texted us a bunch from his side of the family the night before and we decided on Rory's great great grandpa's name Ruel (pronounced like duel with an R). 

We had to stay in the hospital for the rest of Sunday, Monday, Tuesday then went home Wednesday morning. It was so frustrating having to recover from surgery when I wanted to dive right into being with my baby. I had NO clue how sore I would be from the surgery. The first time I got out of bed I remember Nick saying it was hard to watch, I looked like a little Grandma with the nurses trying to help me out and get me to the bathroom. I was bed ridden, which drove me CRAZY. Anytime I wanted to hold Rory when he was being fussy I had to ask Nick or one of the nurses to pass him to me. Anytime I wanted a drink, or my lanolin cream, or something from the diaper bag I had to ask for someone to get it for me. The middle of the night was the worst. I felt bad waking up Nick every time Rory had to feed, or I needed help getting out of bed. My mom came every morning and watched Rory so I could sleep for a few hours without being woken up and Nick could go home and shower and sleep for a few hours too. Thank goodness for Moms. I don't know how I would have gotten through those hospital days (and the ones at home) without her. Slowly it started getting better. By the time we were ready to go home I could get out of bed on my own and stand up to pick of Rory without having to ask for help. 

Now we are home and it is Rory's due date today. How is it possible he could still be nestled inside me? I can't remember what life was like before. Today everytime I stared at his little face when we were snuggling my eyes welled up with tears. He is so beautiful and sweet and all mine. Poor little Rory's cheeks are raw from the millions of kisses Nick plants on his cheeks every day. I have never seen him more smitten. Today he wrapped us both in his arms and held us close and told us how lucky he was to have this little family. I try and remember these perfect moments when I am up in the night with a wide awake newborn who wants to check the world out!! Seriously Rory I thought newborns were supposed to just sleep all the time! He loves having his eyes open staring at mom and dad. We love our little Rory and are looking forward to all the good and bad times ahead with our little buddy.

Bumpdate: 37 Weeks

37 weeks 

Mom and I at the baby shower

How far along are you: 37 weeks 4 days

Baby is: as big as swiss chard or winter melon (you think they'd find better comparisions...)

Stretch Marks? Just noticed them in the last couple weeks, none on my belly yet but a few on my side! Aka love handles

Movement: He has been showing off lately. My niece Royal got to feel a big kick the other day and her face lit up like a little Christmas Tree. She always asks to feel the baby now. He does a little jig when I drink cranberry apple juice too which I always find so hilarious. He dropped this last week and although it is nice to have more room to breathe and bend over, there is a lot of pressure in other places... It makes me want to pee ALL the time! Especially when he wiggles around

Work: My first week off work! (insert silent cheer here) Last week FLEW by at an alarming rate. I thought I would get so much more done but I have enjoyed treating myself to a couple baths and naps throughout the day. And not feeling guilty one little bit! Nick even got a few real meals this week haha. 

Sleep: I sleep well at night minus the nocturia but I fall right back asleep. I cant sleep in too much though because my hands fall asleep and they start to ache if I dont get up and walk around to get the circulation moving. I still love my body pillow, I think we will be inseperable from now on, pregnant or not. It's becoming more difficult to find a position that is comfortable for my belly and keeping my wrists straight.

High of the week: Being off work, another baby shower my sister-in-law Alisha threw me, how excited Nick is getting :)

Low of the week: Things are starting to hit me hard this week. I got to finally meet my cousin Crystal's little man Bentley who is a few weeks old. Just holding him I kept thinking, there's no way I am going to be in charge of a little tiny human being....

Feeling: Nervous, Tired, Excited. Nick can hardly stand it he is so excited for the baby to get here. He will talk to him and say "come out baby, I want to meet you!!" And then once Nick leaves I give baby a little lecture to stay inside for a little while longer, I am not ready for him to come yet haha. The last couple of weeks have been so special. I feel like Nick and I have grown even closer knowing this baby is going to be here soon.

Symptoms: My right hand is starting to become numb during the day now, stupid carpal tunnel. I might have to give in and just get some braces to wear. I really don't want to have to with only a few weeks left, but we'll see how much longer I can hold off. I have been bad at taking my iron supplements since I've been off work and have been feeling super tired the last couple days. One of the nurses today mentioned I looked very pale. I assured her I am just ghastly white all the time, unfortunately that's my complexion. I really need to get out in the sun. But maybe my iron is low again, you'd think I'd know better being in health care and lecturing people about taking their medications haha. Geez. My knees have been super achy this last week too, standing up is killer!

Baby necessities: Thank goodness for baby showers. For real. As a first-time mom I really had no clue what I was going to need. I have been so spoiled by my family and friends. Everytime I am in the nursery I see little bits and pieces of all the people I love so dearly. Everytime we use a toy or a blanket or some nipple cream (hehe) that we've been given, I will think of you all individually and how grateful I am for you.

Working on: I started glitz and glamming my diaper wipe case till I had a bad run in with the glue gun. I have been stearing clear of it since then. 

Nursery: My favorite part of the day is working on the nursery, washing clothes, blankets and toys. It makes me feel like I'm really accomplishing something. Although the rest of my house could use some major TLC

Currently craving: Cranberry apple juice, cheesecake, water, any food I don't have to make myself

Confession: We still don't have a name picked, I don't have my hospital bag packed and I don't have a carseat. A few things I'm getting started on first thing Monday morning. You know... "just in case" as everyone has been warning me. 18 days to go! 

 36 weeks

Quilt my mom (Grandma Orr) made for Baby J <3 I asked for a traditional country quilt. Love it!

Quilt my Grandma (Great Grandma Orr) made for Baby J. She drew those little monkeys herself and designed her own pattern, you guys should see all of the hand stitching it's pretty amazing!

 Baby Shower at Alisha's House. I only have phone pictures I will post some more once I get them from Nick's sister Alanna!

 Baby Shower with my Johnson sisters

Amanda and I grabbing some 7-Eleven before the baby shower. Just 2 pregos hittin' the town!

Nautical Baby Shower

My friend Ashley threw me my first baby shower in Barnwell this weekend! It was so fun, I think Baby showers are more fun than even Bridal showers!! I had to read the packaging on basically every gift to figure out what it was haha (lots to learn apparently...). Ashley is now dubbed the Pinterest queen as I don't know that anyone could out-do her after this event. It was so sweet filling the nursery with all the special gifts from the shower. He has so many people who love him already. I am one lucky girl to have such sweet family and friends. Photo cred goes out to Bryanna Peterson for taking such awesome pictures and getting them to me the same day!

Davis is ready for Movember already

Oh Oliver always up to no good.

3 boys --> 1 out, 2 to go!!

31 and 35 weeks. Cant wait to meet these 2 cute boys!

Ashley you know I love you when I post this ginormous picture of myself because its the only one we have together. Love you girl!

Bumpdate: 35 weeks

Steph @ 31 weeks and Me @ 35 weeks!

How far along are you: 35 weeks

Baby is: as big as a honeydew melon. His head has also been down for quite a few weeks now, I hope he stays that way! I can feel his little bum on the top of my uterus so sometimes I give him little love spanks! haha

Weight gain: No clue, I prefer not to know. I don't feel like a ginormous whale [yet] so I think I'm doing okay.

Movement: I am falling more in love with this little belly. At first I found it really strange and weird. The more time we spend together the more I like his little movements. He puts on a good performance after mum has a yummy treat. More and more people have been able to feel him. I'm not a touchy feely person (...at all...) but I don't mind close friends or family feeling baby. I like seeing everyones excitement :)

Maternity clothes: I wear my maternity clothes to work obviously but as soon as I get home its pajama time. Okay okay... so I used to do that before I was pregnant too.... 

Work: I have 1 more week of work left, then a whole month off! I will tell you what though... I have been SO lucky with this pregnancy. I have been able to work the entire time without too much complaint. Just this week though I am starting to feel very tired and my body is starting to give up on these 8 hour work days. I get home from work and have to lay down in bed to give my back a break. I am excited to be at home and take some rests during the day while I try and tie some loose ends around the house. 

Sleep: I have been pretty lucky the last couple of weeks. I still get up 3-5 times to go pee in the night but I'm able to fall right back asleep. Sometimes It's a little harder to sleep if I'm having bad back pain that day but I won't complain too much!

High of the week: my Jyles finally getting home from her mission in El Salvador!!! Oh the laughs we have already had!! AND My first baby shower that Ashley Johnson threw me! I will post some pictures in my next post! It was so fun to unpack my presents today and put everything away. I will admit all of the baby stuff did make me slightly panicky that a baby is on the way and I have a LOT to learn.

Low of the week: Not getting a single thing done after work this week. I am starting to accept that nothing is gonna get done until I'm off of work.

Feeling: I went to my friend Jessica's homecoming on Sunday and it was the first time I'd seen her in 18 months. She is a little ray of sunshine folks. She was SO HAPPY. I felt lifted up and happier just being around her. Now obviously she's straight off the mission so naturally she has that missionary glow, but if you know Jessica at all she is FUN to be around. There is never a time we are together that I don't laugh hysterically. So it got me thinking that I could do so much better with that. I want to be a positive, happy mom/wife. I know I won't be all the time, (especially since I already know that about myself haha), and I know there will be lots of hard days, weeks, months... But I want to remember to TRY to be positive and TRY to be happy, and just do the best I can. I want people to feel lifted up being around me! Not dragged down by all of my complaints and negativity...

Symptoms: I have been very level-headed this 3rd trimester. No crying, no grouchy episodes (yay!!) My carpal tunnel has been okay, I have been sleeping with my wrists straight and it's helped a lot! Thirsty thirsty thirsty ALL the time day and night. Nocturia, fatigue, swollen hands and feet, achy legs, sore back, 

Baby necessities: I'm still going to Winners twice a week scoping out their baby stuff #cantstopwontstop and I found some gems this week. I found this Ergobaby carrier, I know... at WINNERS of all places. There was only one there so I wrapped my chubby little arms around it and didn't let it out of my sight until the check out. Probably saved at least 50 dollars on that (boo ya!) My friend Steph says I have a gift for finding crazy deals, but I've come to find out it's just because I am always on the hunt. As Mandi would say from Vintage Revivals "The amount of great scores is directly related to the time you invest into finding them." I also found a bebePOD baby seat which are usually around $60-70 dollars (it's basically a bumbo chair just a different brand) and I got it on clearance for $25! 

I went garage saleing last weekend with my mom and I am just not the girl I used to be. I can only stop at a few before I feel pooped! I used to hit up at least 10 in a morning. I'm thinking I only have one more weekend in me of hunting around before I will have to call it quits. Sad. What will I do Saturday mornings now?! Sleep in maybe... 

Working on: Nothing :( I need to finish the binding on a couple of quilts I've made, and I have a stack of burp cloths and baby blankets I want to sew still. I hope Mama Ju is ready for me to be at her house for the next month finishing my projects!

Nursery: Is finally coming together! I was feeling really anxious for a while when my baby room was a mess. Now that all the crap is cleared out and the baby stuff is being organized and put away I am feeling SO much better. I know the baby won't use the nursery for a long time but it is appeasing my "nesting" instincts and is making me feel loads better :) 

Currently craving:  I had the BEST diet coke at Earl's the other day. They brought it with a fresh lime and brought me a little bottle of lime juice/syrup for it too. I literally drank the rest of the lime juice it was so good haha. I am already planning my next trip to Earl's... 

Confession: Double chins are in right?? ....I can't wait to have my jaw line back.

Bumpdate: 33 weeks

How far along? 
33 Weeks

Baby is big as a: 
Honeydew melon

Bump? 
Just this week I've noticed it's harder to move this big belly around. I am tired after work! It's getting interesting rolling over in bed, or trying to get out of bed, putting my shoes on...

Sleep?
I have been having some crazy dreams which keep me in deep enough of a sleep that I don't get up as often to go pee.  One involved Chris Soules from the Bachelor trying to make a move on me while I was in LA watching a live show of Dancing With The Stars. Another one involved a world-wide tsunami erasing the human race and I had to hold on to my house for dear life as wave after wave crashed over me. Where do I come up with this stuff?

Movement?
The movements are always changing and becoming more exciting. There is definitely less room in there for him. I can feel him wiggling around while I sit at work trying to find some spare room. Sometimes I just lay back in my chair and watch my belly dance. Every once in a while he scrapes the inside of my ribs just right to make me yelp. He gets most wiggly right after I've eaten. Ever since Nick has been able to feel his little feet or limbs he likes feeling the baby more - finally!

Best moment of the week?
Working on my nursery finally! I used my long-weekend day off work to wash all the little baby clothes and blankets I have. This weekend I put some cute decals on the wall and organized his little toys in the closet. While I was putting his little clothes away it hit me that this little stinker is coming pretty quick!

Worst moment of the week?
The start of some carpel tunnel in my hands. Holy smokes it is painful!

Symptoms?
Carpel tunnel, back pain, stomach fills up super fast, swollen hands & feet, fatigue, nocturia

Food cravings?
Passion Tango Tea Lemonade from Starbucks

Food aversions?
Anything I have to get off my butt to make haha. I am trying to do better this week at cooking actual meals

What I miss?
The energy to just get things done. I have to rest more frequently which is frustrating. There are so many things I need to do still!

Baby Necessities? 
I have gotten some awesome garage sale finds for baby (and for when he is a little older too..) Some nice baby toys for the carseat and stroller, some second hand clothes, a floating baby canopy for the pool for next summer, baby gate, little tykes basketball hoop, some wooden building blocks/links, giant box of crayons, dinosaurs figurines... I also got a used Thule Double Chariot stroller for $80 which is my favorite thrifty purchase so far, it's in awesome condition!

Shopping?
I have been stopping by Winners once a week trying to find a cute pursey diaper bag. Haven't found a diaper bag... but I've sure found a lot of other stuff... :S

Grateful For?
How sweet Nick is to let me nap or rest or take bubble baths whenever I need.

Stretch Marks?
None that I have noticed so far

Worried about?
Bringing a brand new baby home soon and having no clue what to do! That's what moms are for right? Hope Mamma Ju is ready for this baby too hehe