Confessions of an Introvert Mom

Some of you may recall a previous post I wrote about discovering that I am an introvert. If you don't know what an introvert is, you can read my post here. Motherhood has been an adjustment for me. To be honest I didn't think it would be as big of an adjustment as it has been. I thought I would just automatically love everything about being a mom, I was born for this kinda stuff. You guys. I have been humbled. I will admit I am very selfish with my time... maybe too selfish. I know my limits when it comes to social activities, church commitments, service... But I could probably bend my rules a little more to accommodate other people (my husband in particular... And now my baby). I NEED time to regenerate, to recharge the old batteries. Some people may think that's silly, or weird or stupid, but its how I work. The first couple months when you are doing late night feeding and feeding all day, every day, it's hard to catch a moment to yourself. Any spare moment I had I was catching up on sleep. (Which by the way does not count as recharging). I missed cooking and baking, my crafts, cleaning, scrapbooking, doing laundry, writing blog posts, taking a bath. I missed those little me-time activities I took for granted before.

A couple weeks after I had Rory I was having a hard time. I was prompted to pick up my phone and read a conference talk before bed, which I'll admit, I hadn't done in a long time. I read a talk entitled "Daughters of God" by M. Russell Ballard from April 2008 General Conference. Some of his words really spoke to me,

"...sisters, find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children."

What really struck me were his words "pick one or two things"... just ONE or TWO?! How am I to decide.... I just love so many things. But the spirit whispered that I would have to cut back. I would have to sacrifice, and that yes, those hobbies bring me much joy and happiness, but not the kind I will find devoting myself to motherhood. There is a balance between the two.

I do love being a mom. I don't always love that it's a 24.7 job but I'm sure I will grow to love that too. The more time and sacrifice I devote, the more comfortable I feel with all these changes.  Now that Rory is sleeping through the night (for the most part) I make sure to take a bath, to write a blog post or to hang a picture before bed, one little thing I like to do :) I also try and take a little moment to think about all these changes, to ponder how I'm feeling and sort out all these hormones emotions. This has made all the difference. I might need to adjust how much "me-time" I am used to... but in the meantime I am enjoying the journey :)