These last 2 months have been hard. I know you're all probably sick of hearing me talk about my struggles, especially since I know a lot of people would trade me places in a heartbeat. To be fair I wouldn't want to trade places with anyone. I am happy with where we are in life and starting our family and the joy that comes with being a mother. This is more just about my personality, and how me and babies... sometimes we just don't do well together.
I've never been a baby person. Kid person, yes! Baby person, no. I think mostly because I've always felt babies have had the upper hand on me. They're so finicky and I have never known enough about them to feel confident. (Double edged sword). I was terrified to hold other people's babies, and although they are tiny and cute, I liked enjoying them from a distance.
I became an Aunt when I was a teenager, and slowly (11 nieces and nephews later...) babies have crept their way into my heart. Albeit they went right back to mom and dad when they started to cry. I was told I would love my own babies, and that I would know what to do with my own baby. Which is partially true... but these last 6 months have proven that to be somewhat of a lie.
Maybe you're reading this and cannot relate in the slightest. You're probably a baby whisperer, aren't ya. Well if you're more like me (controlling, scheduled, never try anything new unless you're good at it right away, Type A, predictable...) then maybe it took you a little while to sort this baby thing out too. This is what I had to learn the hard way...
1. Know your stuff.
If you want to be successful at something, don't just wing it. Don't just assume you'll know what to do, especially if you're not around babies much. There's no shame in needing to do research and make up a game plan. Ask your mom, your friends, your sisters, be vulnerable, ask questions. A couple of my friends suggested
this book to me. I should have read it BEFORE Rory was born. Reading it while you try and sort out life and problems is not ideal. Once I put Rory on some sort of routine I was able to anticipate his needs and feel more confident with what I was doing. We did the EASY routine. Eat, Activity, Sleep, You-time. Good gracious how much easier it was to know what the heck he was crying about
That was all well and great, you feel confident and then we hit his tummy trouble, then we hit 4 month sleep regression, then we hit the holidays.... etc etc. It's hard not to feel overwhelmed with everything you can find on the internet, but picking a few resources you trust and others have found successful was what helped me weed out what to use. Another amazing resource in regards to sleep training, bedtime, schedules for difference ages, and any curveballs that show up as your baby grows was
this blog (she is a Certified Infant & Child Sleep Consultant).
2. You don't need to prove anything to anyone.
Once I got Rory onto a routine I felt confident, he was sleeping GREAT, I was sleeping great. But what about going out with friends and doing things socially? I felt nervous about doing things out of routine, going places, having Rory stay up late, but I tried to tell myself I could be an easy-going mom. What a good mom I was (looked) that I could drag Rory around as I pleased, and we could still function and sleep great. I started making it all about me. And slowly but surely over the last 2 months his routine was flushed down the toilet, and so has our family's sleep. So here we are, 6 months old, sleep training my poor sad baby who is literally tired ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT because his poor little body has been living an adult lifestyle. Listen to your baby. Rory needs a routine to get in good naps, to get a good nights sleep, to be happy. It's time I started working around HIM and not the other way around. And if that makes me a crazy Type A mom, so be it!
